Some of life's defining moments—those that shatter our world—reveal the tenuous nature of our existence, exposing our inherent fragility as human beings. Yet, from these painful ruptures, the most profound stories emerge. They offer a chance to heal, learn, and find meaning in the chaos, reminding us that we possess the resilience to overcome adversity even at our most vulnerable moments.
Losing a loved one, especially within the Asian community, where strong family bonds are deeply valued, can be a devastating experience. Yet, amidst the grief, there is also an opportunity for reflection and connection. Sharing memories with others who have experienced similar losses can provide solace and understanding. People can find meaning in their journeys and appreciate the preciousness of human relationships by honouring the departed.
The loss of a friendship can also be a painful and isolating experience. When a close bond is severed, it can leave us feeling betrayed, hurt, and alone. But even though it is painful, it can also be a chance to learn and grow. Through the process of healing from a lost friendship, people can learn important lessons about setting boundaries, communicating effectively and building healthier relationships in the future.
In both examples, defining moments are initially experienced as catastrophic and saddening events. However, they can also be opportunities for growth and transformation. We learn from challenges by facing them, developing resilience and understanding ourselves and the world around us. We recognize shared struggles, emotions and aspirations through stories.
For this interview with Arts Help, we are fortunate to have Melina Chow, an Asian American writer who uses her experiences with mental health and grief to create powerful and relatable stories. Melina's work sheds light on the challenges faced by the Asian American community and the world, offering hope for those struggling with similar issues. Melina's story, Lifeline Puzzle, follows Mikayla, a young woman mourning the loss of her grandmother. With the support of her family, she recalls cherished memories and soon discovers a set of wooden puzzle pieces her grandmother had crafted for her family members. Each puzzle piece has a Chinese character or two, representing a story, memory and lesson. As Mikayla pieces together the puzzle, she realizes it is a secret message from her grandmother. It was like a bridge between life and death, showing her that her grandma's love will never end.
In Butterfly, the story follows Luke, a man whose mother abandoned him. Luke struggles with anger, ambivalence and sadness. Layla, a kind and understanding girl, helps Luke connect with his estranged mother. Together, they face challenges and learn the complexities of family relationships, the importance of forgiveness, and the resilience of the human spirit. The story shows us that even when the truth is difficult to accept, it can lead to healing, reconciliation and peace.
Melina's storytelling, which touches on difficult human experiences like loss, anxiety, depression and grief, offers readers a path to healing and understanding, aligning with the United Nations' Sustainable Development Goal of Good Health and Well-Being. Additionally, her focus on underrepresented communities and the Asian American community in particular, contributes to the goal of Reduced Inequalities, as she raises awareness of the unique challenges faced by the community and promotes understanding and empathy.
How do your own experiences with mental health and grief influence your approach to writing about these topics? Are there any personal experiences or connections you can share?
From my experiences with mental health and grief, I try to incorporate those raw, real emotions and feelings when writing about these topics. I strive to write authentic stories to connect with others. When writing, I look into my own experiences as well as place myself into the character's shoes and tap into the vulnerability of the situation to create stories that may resonate with others or be relatable in some way. I hope to help others to let them know they are not alone.
A lot of times, we go through situations that impact us, in which we don't want to talk about it. We forget that, sometimes, the best medicine is to talk about it in order to heal through it. My first anxiety attack occurred in high school, but it wasn't until college, when I was having lunch with a friend, talking about our pasts, that I discovered what I went through. This really helped me understand what I went through because I had trouble explaining what I was experiencing to my family at the time as I, myself, had no idea what was happening. As a result, I hope I can create and tell stories that will make an impact on others to help them navigate their journeys in life. Even if they don't want to talk about what they are going through with others, not wanting to worry their loved ones, I hope they find some solace through my art. In the past, I read articles that helped me get through tough times, so I hope I can do the same. Help others through my art, my writing. This is my way of giving back and leaving a positive impact on the world.
Why is it important to you to see more Asian American representation in media and literature? And how do you strive to include diverse voices and perspectives in your work?
Two people can go through the same event in life but experience it differently. This is the same with ethnic groups. We experience things differently, as our backgrounds, culture and traditions, among others, shape us into who we are today. It is important to see more Asian American representation in media and literature as their stories and experiences are as invaluable and worth telling as other ethnic group's. Doing so also shines a better understanding of Asian American cultures for everyone, including the young Asian American generations growing up. I believe we have a responsibility to help the younger generations of all ethnicities to get to know one another's cultures and traditions authentically, without discrimination or bias, to grow up in a better world as we progress in inclusivity, diversity, and representation. This also allows kids growing up to see themselves in media and literature, and be inspired to be whoever and whatever they want to be. I strive to include different perspectives and voices in my work by reading diverse stories, articles, and books to constantly learn and grow and be able to incorporate what I know into my work. Growing up, there weren't a lot of Asian American actors and actresses in TV shows or movies who looked like me. To see someone who looked like me was rare, but when I did, it empowered me to embrace my culture and background. We came a long way, from Joy Luck Club to Crazy Rich Asians, Parasite, and Everything Everywhere All at Once. It gives a huge voice to the Asian American community, the ethnic representation, and I hope it sheds a different light on how the world sees us and gives hope to generations for years to come.
What are your thoughts on expanding your writing into the Chinese language to reach a wider Chinese or Asian audience?
This is definitely something that crossed my mind and played a big part in Lifeline Puzzle. I wanted to incorporate Chinese culture into the story, through our language, food, and culture. Through language, I used Cantonese to address mom, dad, and grandma. I also incorporated it in a funeral etiquette and for the puzzle pieces' Chinese characters. In Cantonese, the Chinese characters can have multiple meanings, and homophones are very common. I encompassed this aspect towards the end of the story, showcasing our language as well as our culture. To represent food in our culture, I integrated wontons, congee with century eggs, and tea within the story. As for culture, Chinese medicine, or Eastern medicine, is very different from Western medicine. Eastern medicine focuses on natural forms of treatment like herbs and balance of the body, whereas Western medicine focuses on medical practices to diagnose and treat illnesses. For example, hot water is known to clear the system, balancing the cold and hot in the body. I wanted to incorporate this into the story, to share our Chinese culture with others. Embracing our culture in different facets allows Chinese and Asian audiences to further embrace their cultures.
How do you hope your writing can contribute to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, especially within the Asian American community?
I hope my writing can contribute to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, especially within the Asian American community by creating open and honest conversations about mental health with loved ones, steering away from the taboo of discussing such topics. By telling stories about mental health, I hope we can open up the door so that Asian Americans feel comfortable talking about this topic, as well as help them realize and understand what they are going through if and when they experience emotions like anxiety, stress, and grief in their lives. Talking about mental health can be seen as a weakness, but it actually empowers us to better understand ourselves and experience every facet of life that comes our way authentically without the fear of stigma. We can understand each other better on a different and deeper level. It also allows us to get to know each other better, as we may not know what someone is going through if we don't talk about it. In turn, we can also help each other, lift each other up, and possibly find the root cause of what is happening to navigate that challenge.
How did you develop the characters of Layla and Luke in your story, Butterfly? And what do you hope readers will take away from this story?
It started with the theme of the story. I wanted to focus on the idea that a person may not know the real truth of a situation, only seeing the surface level truth. This led to the story centering around the truth behind why Luke's mother left him when he was young. From there, I built upon Luke's character, showcasing how abandonment affected him and his current life in the present. For Layla, I included a subplot of friendship and romance between her and Luke, while also showcasing how Layla's words and experiences can, and will, affect Luke's actions and his journey in processing why his mother left him, figuring out his relationship with his non-biological and biological fathers and navigating his mental health through it all. The takeaway I want readers to walk away with is there’s more to the truth than meets the eye. Rarely, is everything black and white. Everyone has their own struggles, so we need to have more compassion and kindness towards each other as well as ourselves.
Mikayla's journey in the story, Lifeline Puzzle, offers a powerful exploration of grief and healing. Do you believe her experiences could provide comfort or inspiration to readers who are going through difficult times?
I believe and hope so. I wrote Lifeline Puzzle to navigate and process my own grief after losing my grandma and in turn, I hope to help others navigate their own grief and heal during their difficult times too. Mikayla's journey is hugely about coming to terms with her grandma's passing and her feelings towards not spending enough time with her. I think as we grow older, the unfortunate truth in life is we spend less time with our elders. Life is a big puzzle with so many pieces to juggle. As she discovers the connection between life and death, Mikayla realizes no one is truly gone - they will live on through us wherever we go, every step of the way, through the stories we share and how they shaped and impacted us. I hope readers can see that too and find comfort and warmth in that knowledge.
If you had the chance to rewrite the ending of your story, Lifeline Puzzle, would you change anything? If so, what would the alternative ending look like?
If I were to create an alternate ending, I would further develop her story, showcasing how Mikayla helps others at a grief support center through her journey through grief and healing after her grandma’s passing. Through her puzzle piece story, she can help others find their versions of a puzzle piece in their lives. I think grieving and healing can feel very isolating. However, it doesn't have to be. With Mikayla sharing her story, it helps others and lets them know they are not alone and can share their stories too. Sometimes the best medicine for processing grief is opening up about our loved ones to help us heal, honor their memory and keep them alive.
We can look back at memories - good and bad. It is a beautiful thing to talk about someone's legacy through their stories, which allows others to learn more about that person. Just like in Lifeline Puzzle, Mikayla learns more about her grandmother through the stories of others. It is a lovely thing to continue learning about someone - it is as if they are still here with us. It brings a lot of comfort and gives a sense of appreciation of life.
Are there any other themes or topics you'd like to explore in your future writing? Are there any stories you'd like to see adapted into other mediums?
Other themes or topics I'd like to explore in my future writing would be the dynamics in a parent-child relationship and a romantic relationship. There are so many ups and downs when it comes to the dynamics of our relationships with our loved ones, especially with a parent figure or romantic partner. I hope the stories I have written in the format of screenplays can be adapted into actual short films one day. Screenplay readings, similar to play readings, would also be cool.
Tell us about specific books, movies, or other works of art that inspired you while writing your previous stories.
To pinpoint a specific work of art that inspired me while writing these stories, in particular, would be difficult. I think it is more of what I experienced or saw happening in the world, in a TV show or in a movie - the idea, situation, or concept - that would spark something in me. It’s a fire that makes me want to tell others that they are not alone, to help others in some way. For Lifeline Puzzle, my grandma's passing made me want to write a story about navigating grief, life and death. For Butterfly, it was one of the episodes of The Resident, where we found out one of the characters gave up her child for adoption because the pregnancy was due to being raped. We also see stories on the news about abandonment. As a result, for Butterfly, I wanted to explore a parent's absence in a child's life, where there is more to the story than meets the eye. I wanted to include the layers and show the light at the end of the tunnel, like how Luke's mother was still watching over him from afar. I wanted to create a positive spin on something that’s usually seen as bad. Above all, I think a huge part of what inspires me to tell stories is to help others by putting a positive light to the bad in our world.
What do you hope your writing will be remembered for? What kind of impact do you want to make on the world?
I hope my writing will be remembered for helping others. I want to give back by creating and sharing stories for people to enjoy, laugh, connect, reflect, or escape reality. I believe storytelling is as healing and powerful as medicine. I hope I can help at least one person through my writing. I want to make a positive impact on the world through my storytelling. If at least one good thing comes from it, then I know I have left the world better than how I found it.
Melina’s stories offer comfort, understanding and hope to those facing mental health challenges. She acknowledges the difficult aspects of mental health but also highlights the positive outcomes, helping people feel less ashamed and encouraging more open discussions about mental health. Like the puzzle Mikayla assembles and the connections Layla helps forge, Melina's stories remind us that even in the face of loss and pain, there are pieces of ourselves that can be put back together. As she explains, the act of sharing is therapeutic, allowing us to process, connect and gain new insights.
Melina also advocates for minoritized communities, especially Asian Americans. She often highlights stories that are overlooked or underrepresented, giving a voice to those who are often silenced, helping break down stereotypes and misconceptions about Asian Americans.
Everyone has a story to tell. The experiences of those who have overcome hardship often carry a unique power and impact. Our past is like a puzzle, its pieces scattered across time. We must patiently gather these fragments, fitting them together to create a coherent picture of who we are. The journey towards harmony often involves piecing together fragments of our past, one story at a time.